By Suzie Stern
Over time, after October 7, I heard the voices of Jewish community leaders in the diaspora (thank you for your advocacy and leadership) urging me to be a loud and proud Jew. But I did not feel loud. I felt helpless, weak, and wordless. Proud Jew? Yes. But, what did my Jewishness actually mean to me? I wanted to be a loud and proud Jew, but I didn’t know how – or even fully why.
So, I embarked on a journey of Jewish learning. Thank you to Jewish authors such as Sarah Hurwitz, Zibby Owens, Alan Morinis and others. Thank you Rabbi Leder, Rabbi Hirsch, Rabbi Brous, Rabbi Cosgrove, Rabbi Stutman, Rabbi Buchdahl, Rabbi Wildes and others for your books and podcasts. Keep speaking, keep writing– we need and are counting on you. I have found comfort, wisdom, and guidance in your words. Beyond that, I have found the pathway I was searching for after October 7 as a mother of two wonderful girls.
“Who is strong? He who captures his heart” (Pirkei Avos / Ethics of the Fathers, 4:1.) I teach my daughters to Stand Up to hatred by building their qualities of the heart. I have reaffirmed our home’s spiritual curriculum of expanding our hearts. We demonstrate deepened love for one another, grounded in a strong love of self. We open our hearts to greater generosity, which involves such challenging virtues as acceptance and forgiveness. We take on more acts of kindness. Acts of kindness that go beyond being ‘thoughtful’ but instead that aim at actually easing the pain of another. Equally, we strive to feel and be elevated by the joys of another.
I am discovering that the values that I have been imparting to my daughters are Jewish values. I am also discovering that Jewish learning is challenging me to be a better person. This deepening of heart has been life-affirming. Jewish learning has given me a renewed purpose and vitality. I am now better equipped and embracing being a loud and proud Jew. There are still days though when I am low in courage. On those days, my husband and daughters lend me some of theirs.
May the Hostages return home NOW!
May Hamas be disarmed and removed from power. May the children in Israel and Gaza grow up in peace.
Suzie Stern is a family lawyer who represented children and survivors of domestic violence. She is a life coach. Suzie is also the author of the forthcoming book for children and families Home is Within You, dedicated to her Jewish community.