By Shirin Yadegar
Valentine’s Day can often feel commercial, flashy, and centered on grand romantic gestures. But as a mother, I’ve come to see February 14th as something far more meaningful: an opportunity to root our families in the deeper foundation of love as action.
In Judaism, love is not just a feeling — it is a mitzvah, a sacred responsibility. The Torah teaches, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Rabbi Hillel famously said that this principle is the essence of the entire Torah; the rest is commentary. Love, in our tradition, is not passive. It is something we choose, something we practice.
And what better place to practice it than at home?
Instead of centering Valentine’s Day solely on romantic love, we can transform it into a family tradition that celebrates lovingkindness what we call “chesed” to elevate both the giver and the receiver. Love is reciprocal. It binds us together.
One simple tradition we have started is a “Family Chesed Night.” Each child writes a note to another family member highlighting something they genuinely appreciate about them. We gather around the dinner table and read the notes aloud. The focus isn’t on candy or elaborate gifts, but on acknowledgment, gratitude, and presence.
We also choose one act of giving beyond our home like donating to a cause, delivering baked goods to a neighbor or family member or checking in on someone who may feel alone. When our children see that love expands outward, they begin to understand that Valentine’s Day is not about exclusivity; it is about inclusion.
And here’s the beauty of it: you don’t have to be Jewish to embrace this tradition. While the concept of love as a mitzvah comes from Judaism, the value itself is universal. It speaks to our shared humanity. It reminds us that compassion, generosity, and kindness are not confined to any one faith.
Judaism teaches that we are created in the image of God. To love another person is to honor that divine spark. But even beyond religious language, it is about recognizing the inherent dignity in every human being.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s reclaim the narrative. Let’s create traditions that reflect our values. Let’s teach our children that love is something we actively give and gratefully receive.
Because when we model love as kindness, as inclusion, as humanity, we’re not just celebrating a holiday. We’re building a legacy.
Shirin Yadegar is the creator of http://www.lamommagazine.com